I was up to see my father yesterday. Actually, I went up prepared to take him into the doctor and give the doc’s desk a pounding if needed as dad’s been hardly able to eat for about a month and is getting steadily weaker. He needed to be seen. The doc had seen him about two weeks ago and had ordered bloodwork and then last Friday a Catscan. You might say with his deteriorating condition, we (or at least I) was getting a bit impatient.

I did get dad’s consent that if the doctor wasn’t prepared to give him an appointment yesterday that we’d go into the office and park there if needed. Sort of figured I needed that consent as I’d seem rather silly to go in there pounding on the desk and getting the doc’s attention and then when he agreed to see him saying “well, dad wouldn’t come in with me”. Just doesn’t make a good ending.

So, I arrived up there yesterday early in the day. After having rang the door bell, pounded on his patio door repeatedly and been unable to arouse dad from ’snoozing’ in his chair I finally reached in my pocket, pulled out my cell and rang from outside to inside to wake him up. Good thing he was just snoozing and not really sleeping cause I’d likely would have had to have found a remote way of turning the TV on and off to get his attention.

A call to his doctor’s office netted an appointment that afternoon. That was almost too easy. Too bad the news the doc delivered to dad wasn’t as easy. He has cancer, liver cancer. We’re now waiting on appointments for biopsy and oncologist which presumably will yield information on how advanced this disease is and if there are treatment options for him to consider.

Dad is an 83 year old man who has hardly aged past about 65 and has always been pretty healthy and active. With a set of grandparents who lived to 96 and 101 respectively, thinking about dad’s mortally just doesn’t seem like something that should be happening for about 10 more years. It’s a bit of a punch to the gut to not only have to think about it now but we may be seeing it sooner than later.

This is going to be an adjustment for him. He’s been so used to being so independent. So far he seems to be willing to recognize that he needs help and to accept it. The doc has put him on Ensure so hopefully that will help get some strength back up. Ensure is a meal replacement with the vitamins and minerals he hasn’t been getting as he’s struggled trying to find foods he can eat.

Not all of the family knows what is happening yet. Dad isn’t in a hurry for everyone to know. I think I understand where he’s coming from on that. Even if I don’t, I need to respect his wishes. This is dad’s journey and I can only travel so far with him.

On our way back from the doctor’s I asked him if he wanted to stay in his house as long as humanly possible. He said he wanted to and I’ve promised that will happen. That will be one promise I intend to keep if humanly possible.