Life is a bit crazy this week and next. More on that later. Anyone who might think that I don’t have a sense of humour.. or at least the bizarre..I’ll share this with you:
In the beginning….
In the beginning, God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower andÂ spinach. And Man and Woman lived long and healthy lives.
Then, using God’s bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said “You want hot fudge with that?” And Man said “Yes!”. And Woman said “I’ll have one too, with chocolate chips”. And lo, they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthy yogurt, that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane ….. and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 16.
So God said “Try my fresh green salad”.
And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts after the repast.
God then said “I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them”.
And Satan brought forth deep-fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man’s cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin, sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats, adding copious amounts of salt. And Man put on more pounds and became hypertensive.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose their extra weight.
And Satan came forth with the TV remote control, so Man and woman would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said “You want fries with that?” and Man replied Yes … and super size ’em”. And Satan said “It is good.” And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed ……… and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.
As it was in the beginning, shall be, for evermore amen.